Think-Feel-Eat Episode #19: Self-Integrity I of II (Why We Don’t Do What We Tell Ourselves We Will Do!)

Think-Feel-Eat Episode #19: Self-Integrity I of II (Why We Don’t Do What We Tell Ourselves We Will Do!)

Hi! I’m Donna Reish, IF teacher, weight loss coach, blogger, and half of “The Minus 220 Pound Pair” as my husband and I have lost over 220 pounds together (160 of that in the past couple of years through the Weight Loss Lifestyle habits and strategies I teach!).

The next two episodes’ contents have been life changing for me! And I am happy to present them to you to help you change your life as well.

Not doing what we tell ourselves we will do is probably the greatest thief of our dreams and future life. And yet we do that over and over—and then scratch our heads in bewilderment as to why we don’t do what we tell ourselves we will do.

Come to find out, it isn’t our fault.

In Episode 19 of Think-Feel-Eat, I present several enemies of self-integrity. The bare bones of why we don’t do what we tell ourselves we will do.

(See Weight Loss Lifestyle #60 and #61 for my two Willpower Episodes….super empowering to know why we don’t have the willpower we think we should!)

These range from trusting willpower to get us through to being too vague to waiting until we are in the moment (and using our toddler brains to guide us!).

The good news is that all of these are over-come-able!

We can have self-integrity. And when we do, it will change our lives!

Self-integrity will change our size, weight, health, muscles, food, time management, relationships, home care, self care, work, and more!

As always, I have a full, detailed outline, an audio, and a video version. Start gaining self-integrity today!

Find all of my episodes, outlines, and articles for my two weekly broadcasts:

(1)  Weight Loss Lifestyle broadcast (formerly Donna’s Intermittent Fasting Broadcast)

(2)  Think-Feel-Eat broadcast 

Sign up for my free webinar:

TFE 19 Outline Self Integrity Part I of II (Why We Don’t Keep Our Word to Ourselves)

A. Defining and Understanding Self-Integrity

1. Definition: the quality of being truthful and honest with yourself, of intentionally aligning personal behaviors and actions to be congruently aligned with your own values and goals.  It requires a commitment to align ourselves to stay consistent with personal values so that we do what we tell ourselves we will do.

2. Difficult because we are not answering to anyone but ourselves

3. Event people who are amazing in integrity with others often are not with themselves.

4.  Self Integrity covers every area of our lives!!

a. Weight

b. Drugs/alcohol/nicotine

c. Pornography

d. Business/scheduling work

e. Family

f. Marriage

g. Shopping

B. Enemies of Self-Integrity

1. Thoughts about our past failures/Negative Self Talk

a. Thoughts about our past failures

i.  When we bring in our past inconsistencies and lack of self-integrity, we can’t move into self integrity even with tools.

ii.  Thoughts and words spoken like “I never do what I say I will do” or “I’ll probably just skip things this time too” or “I can never stay on an eating protocol, so I will probably do that again” will keep us from moving forward even if we do have the tools and the understanding of the processWords/thoughts about the hiddenness of self-integrity

b. Words/thoughts about the hiddenness of self-integrity

i. Nobody will know

ii. Must get to where we want to do it for us—that even if we were the only ones who know, we still want to do it

iii.  In the meantime, we have to believe that when we don’t do what we say, it does matter (health, weight, income, time, etc)—that this thing I said I would do but now don’t want to do will truly affect me.

iv. Better Thought: My past self made this great plan for my current self!

 2. Perfectionism

a.  “Believing your life would be better if you were perfect and thus, should strive for that”

b.  The way we deal with unmet perfectionism is to give up entirely—if we can’t do it perfectly, we just won’t do it.

c.  It is common sense that five minutes of exercise is better than nothing or that staying on a protocol 75% of the time is better than not at all, but when we are stuck in perfectionism, we can’t think that through

d.  Creates a vicious cycle: tomorrow I will do it perfectly; then we don’t; we beat ourselves up/belittle ourselves; we get relief by planning to d it perfectly the next time; rinse and repeat.

e. Perfectionism will be the biggest roadblock to our using the ABC tool by Fogg/Harris

f.  A change a month yielded 360 changes for us over a 30+ year period of time!!!


3. Not breaking goals down/biting off too much 

a. Often related to perfectionism

b. Sometimes we can’t see the little steps it takes to get to a big goal

c. Other times the little steps do not feel like they will get us there

d.  We believe we should “play big or go home”

e. My bladder exercises—break it down because didn’t see how I could add another thing to my day.

4. Relying on willpower

a. When we don’t plan ahead and make decisions ahead of time, we leave the weight of any changes in our lives (or any self integrity issues) on the part of the brain that is ill-equipped to make those decisions and carry out the goals in our life

b.  The amount, type, and intensity of willpower that is needed to do some things for some people are nearly impossible to override/sustain

c.  Research shows we spend four hours per day resisting temptations

d.  We have a willpower gap—the number of instances we need willpower is greater than the amount of willpower we have in any given day

e. See Weight Loss Lifestyles Episodes 60 and 61 for extensive willpower teaching.

5. Not planning/deciding ahead of time

a. Prefrontal cortex vs. toddler brain

b.  Decision making processes are those done ahead, not in the moment

c.  In the moment relies on willpower, which we are often short of

C. Get More Help!

1. The Perfect Storm of Weight Loss teaches the steps to create your own protocol and bring together all aspects of weight loss

2.  Willpower Part I and II 

3. Sign up for a free consult call to see if weight/time management/life coaching with me would help you meet your goals!


Think-Feel-Eat Episode #12: Introducing the Perfect Storm of Weight Loss!

Think-Feel-Eat Episode #12: Introducing the Perfect Storm of Weight Loss!

Hi! I’m Donna Reish, IF teacher, weight loss coach, blogger, and half of “The Minus 220 Pound Pair” as my husband and I have lost over 200 pounds together (160 of that in the past couple of years through the Weight Loss Lifestyle habits and strategies I teach!).

In this episode, I am excited to present the introduction to the Perfect Storm of Weight Loss.

I begin by defining a “perfect storm” and how we can apply this to weight loss and weight management. Rather than being a “violent storm” that occurs from a combination of conditions, the “Perfect Storm of Weight Loss” is a “predictable storm” that occurs from a combination of conditions that we can have control over.

Weight loss isn’t simply a calorie deficit or an eating protocol or eliminating foods. Weight MANAGEMENT—that is losing to a healthy weight and keeping it off—is a series of many things that we can INCREMENTALLY control. So cool!

I give my “propel what you plan” and “move what you measure” speech—nothing happens to us in weight loss—we make it happen by planning ahead and measuring/reviewing what is and isn’t working.

Finally, I introduce “The Perfect Storm of Weight Loss” Triangle—where we can see the three main aspects of weight loss/management and how they interact with each other.

I’m excited about this series—it will eventually come with a podcast/broadcast roadmap, “The Perform Storm of Weight Loss” in which the podcasts/broadcasts are laid out for you with their outlines in the order that will help you have the most success!

Keep abreast of the elements of the Perfect Storm here:

This “Perfect Storm” is the same method I use with my weight loss coaching clients! Set up a consult to see if weight loss/life coaching with me is a good move for you at

Find all of my episodes, outlines, and articles for my two weekly broadcasts:

(1) Weight Loss Lifestyle broadcast (formerly Donna’s Intermittent Fasting Broadcast)  and

(2) Think-Feel-Eat broadcasts at

Sign up for my free webinar:


I want so many good things for you!

Think Feel Eat Episode 12 Outline: Introducing the Perfect Storm of Weight Loss

A. What Is the Perfect Storm of Weight Loss

1. Definition

a. PERFECT STORM: “A particularly violent storm arising from a rare combination of adverse meteorological factors.”
b. PERFECT STORM OF WEIGHT LOSS: “A particularly productive weight management “storm” arising from a predictable combination of positive physiological, brain, thought, hormonal, food, emotional, and habit factors.”

2. What we think

a. We think it is the perfect diet—we think it is something that we can stick to, suffer through, not fall off….until we lose the amount of weight we need or want to lose
b. We think it is something that someone else is doing that is working or something that has worked for us before (which could both be true!)

3. It doesn’t have to be that way. We can create our own Perfect Storm—with a way that we will enjoy our foods, be satisfied with the amounts, and live comfortably with the time. We can do this!

B. What If We Really Do Have to “Change Everything”?

1. We don’t have to eat foods we hate or fast longer than we are comfortable or eat tiny portions that don’t satisfy us.
2. But we will make drastic changes over time—but they won’t seem drastic as we make them slowly and comfortably….it’s pretty amazing!
3. Weight loss is not just one single plan or approach—most research shows that ANY plan will work (people lose to goal on the potato diet, the Twinkie diet, the carnivore diet, the egg diet, the fat diet, the 600 calorie diet, and on and on and on…from the most unhealthy approaches to more sensible ones)

a. One commonality—they reduce intake. Period
b. Most widely outcome of weight loss research shows that most of us need to lose 30% of our body weight and eat 30% less than we do. Period.
c. How we create the Perfect Storm is up to us—and has to be something we can do forever (or some form of it—we will “asses/measure” and tweak as we go).

C. We must PLAN and MEASURE…

1. We PROPEL what we PLAN and we MOVE what we MEASURE…
2. Planning means that we decide ahead of time with the adult portion of our brain what we can live with for our Eating Protocol (time, foods, and amounts)
3. Measuring means we assess what we are doing and make changes as needed

D. The Perfect Storm of Weight Loss Triangle
Weight Loss Lifestyle #61: Willpower II–Ways to Overcome or Change the Willpower Gap

Weight Loss Lifestyle #61: Willpower II–Ways to Overcome or Change the Willpower Gap

In Episode #60, I explained that we have a willpower gap—a gap between the amount of willpower that we need each day and the length of day/number of temptations we are faced with each day.

We can do some things to manufacture more—we can refill some of our stores, we can do intentional self care tasks that give us more, and we can do daily lifestyle things that lead to a bump in willpower.

However, the best way to handle the willpower gap is to use what we have wisely, to reduce the need for so much of it, to control hormones to help us with the lack, and other “use wisely and reduce need” moves.

The first way to use our willpower more wisely is simply to “save it up” during Intermittent Fasting. Such a cool and simple trick to not use it for 119 food related decisions all day.

We also decrease our need for it overall in Intermittent Fasting as we help insulin, ghrelin, and leptin to work amazingly well for us–again through IF!

Next, we can actually NEED less willpower when we create automaticity in our lives! Yep…we can use “tiny habits” (Fogg) and “atomic habits” and “deciding ahead of time” (Castillo) to automatize much of our life!

And you know my love for all things Stephen Guyenet (Hungry Brain)! Finally, we can gradually reduce the extreme dopamine spikes that we get from such seductive, hyper-palatable foods over time (even with little choices)….and guess what? Less willpower will be needed!!

Outline , video, and podcast are below!

I want so many good things for you!

Part I: Review of Willpower

A. Willpower Review

1. What it is

a. Using internal strength to over-ride our brain to do something we don’t want to do or not do something we do want to do
b. Discovered in 1988 to be a “thing”
c. “Overriding a feeling in order to act in a way that is different than you feel like acting

2. All kinds of willpower are used each day adding up to overcoming 4 hours of temptations and 119 food-related decisions per day


B. Willpower needed for too many things each day–It takes willpower to resist (or sit with) over hunger and over desire

1. Over hunger—hunger signals, ghrelin telling us we are empty; leptin not telling us (or us not hearing it) that we are full
2. Over desire—processed foods, frequent eating, sugar and flour concentrations…all lead to overdesire due to neuro transmitters in the brain that tell us that we want more and more of those things each time we have them.
3. Willpower gap—running out of willpower before we run out of day/time/decisions that willpower is needed for.


Part II: Ways to Work With or Overcome Willpower Gap


A. Refill Willpower Stores

1. Ways we might be able to refill lagging willpower

a. Human connection—FB groups, people to text, like-minded people, etc.
b. Meditation—even quick sitting and taking 3 minutes of deep breathing
c. Prayer
d. Gratitude—MANY studies show that gratitude replenishes willpower! (Weekly gratitude list and reading it aloud each day)
e. Service—giving to others
f. Self Care

2. Self care

a. Deciding ahead of time is “adult self care”!
b. Don’t rely on immature/emergency self care—this will feel graspy and will not replenish like adult self care that you have decided ahead of time
c. Read, bath, music, instruments, hobbies, exercise


B. Intermittent Fasting

1. We do not have the willpower gap that we would have from the aforementioned 119 food decisions each day—no decisions at all for 16, 18, 19 hours!
2. We were never intended to …

a. Eat 7-12 times every 24 hours
b. Have such highly-processed, hyper-palatable foods

3. Our willpower is saved for during our eating window
4. Our insulin is kept low since we aren’t spiking it with food. This gives insulin a chance to drop and increase leptin/our ability to hear leptin and “hear the song of satiety” better.
5. When insulin is low, leptin is increased and heard better— we know when we are full more quickly and more thoroughly than eating all the time. We don’t need as much willpower to stop overeating when leptin is heard so clearly.
6. When we fast, we get control of the hunger hormone, ghrelin, so we actually train our body when to be hungry—so less willpower is needed! We are essentially overriding willpower during our fast through “clock hunger” and “ghrelin taming”!
7. Another benefit of leptin sensitivity (being able to hear leptin signals) is that we start to crave healthier foods—again, without willpower and white knuckling in order to eat those healthier foods.
8. Finally, fewer eating instances means fewer dopamine spikes. (See later in outline!)


C. Create Automaticity—Habits, Rituals, and Deciding Ahead of Time

1. Brushing our teeth

a. We brush out teeth with consistency—no sticky notes, timers, phone reminders, leaving things on the counter, charts, etc.!
b. We don’t rely on willpower to brush our teeth
c. We use automaticity, habits, rituals, and deciding ahead of time-as well as the clear desire to do it
d. We brush our teeth AUTOMATICALLY because we have a clear, unambiguous line that we will not cross—I will NEVER leave the house without having my teeth brushed!
e. We have a routine/ritual/automaticity in order for it to happen twice a day

2. We must automatize our eating so that it is more habitual, ritualistic, and automatic

a. Planning and preparing

i. As we plan and prepare, those plans turn into automatic actions and behaviors
ii. Then the plans become habitual and ritualistic
iii. “I got into the habit of”
iv. “I got out of the habit of”

b. Why losing 100 pounds over a decade has actually helped me—plenty of time to make my changes gradually and automatize them and get them to stick

3. Decide Ahead of Time

a. Studies showing we always PLAN to eat better ahead of time—the cake vs. fruit order
b. We always think we can do it when we are planning next week
c. Use this “decide ahead of time” strength to our benefit
d. Decide today WHEN you will eat tomorrow
e. Decide today WHAT you will eat tomorrow (watch for upcoming Protocol Planning broadcasts!)
f. Uses your pre-frontal cortex (adult brain) not toddler brain
g. Uses less willpower since it is decided when you are not in the heat of the moment


D. Reduce Six Seductive Craving Combinations So Dopamine Spikes Are Decreased

1. Dopamine is the habit/desire hormone that makes us want to eat junk food.
2. Every time we eat a processed food or drink a sugary drink, our dopamine is spiked, and we need more and more of those junk foods in order to be satisfied.
3. One way to decrease this over-desire is to decrease the number of eating opportunities
4. Eventually, with the help of leptin, lowered insulin, and grehlin, we will be able to decrease those spikes that need super human willpower to overcome.
5. Decrease one of the three major spikers: flour, sugar, fat…..

(Did you know that you can find all weekly broadcasts {Weight Loss Lifestyle/formerly Donna’s IF Journal} in one place at my website?)

Create a “Tomorrow Real-for-Me Food Plan” (Broadcast #53)

Create a “Tomorrow Real-for-Me Food Plan” (Broadcast #53)

Hello, Fasting Friends! I have had so many requests for food and eating help. Some want to see my daily food intake for a few days (coming
soon!). Some want to know why they aren’t losing weight in spite of an 18 or 19 hour daily fast. Others want to know what food protocol they should do.

In today’s broadcast, I am giving you hope! I am giving you a simple approach (takes me two minutes the day before to write my plan and two minutes at the end of the day to see how I’ve done that day in sticking with my plan!). I am showing you how to create food habits that will really work–because you start where ever you are and “Jump Up” (in one percent jumps) from there.

Oh how I want habits, health, and goal weights for all of you! I love being so close to my final goal–and tweaking and experimenting and being curious about how I can keep going and get there.

(Did you hear that Ray Baby and I have recently become “The Minus 205 Pound Pair”? Yep, we have just reached the milestone of losing over 200 pounds together (155 of those pounds have been in the past couple of years!).)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this broadcast—and i hope you start your “Tomorrow Real-for-Me Food Plan” right away!

Love and hope,



Our Plexus and Food Regiment—and Losing 200 Pounds Together With the Plexus Products

Our Plexus and Food Regiment—and Losing 200 Pounds Together With the Plexus Products

Since we have reached a big milestone in our weight loss journey–losing 200 pounds together—we are getting a lot of questions about our supplement, fasting, and eating protocols. And I am thrilled to pass it along!

(I’m giddy over reaching this goal—can’t imagine how cray cray I’m going to be when we reach Minus 210 or Minus 230 Pound Pair!!!)

So I had lost 50 pounds over many years (and kept it off—that is important!).
But over the past three years, we have lost 150 of the 200 pounds together. (His weight loss total is 105 pounds; mine is 97 pounds!)

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