Think-Feel-Eat #3: Bullying Ourselves to Goal Weight With Negative Thoughts? Part II of II

Think-Feel-Eat #3: Bullying Ourselves to Goal Weight With Negative Thoughts? Part II of II

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Let’s put this Think-Feel-Eat “Bully Thoughts” all together this week….

And let’s start thinking better thoughts about ourselves so that we can feel better feelings…

AND…take more productive actions.

Even those who are completely new to thought work and emotional eating have to admit that we take actions based on how we FEEL…..

And guess what? 

Before we FEEL, we THINK….those thoughts lead to our feelings.

It’s hard work to manage our thoughts, but it is life changing and worth the effort for sure!

Don’t worry…I’m going to take your hand and help you every step of the way.

 

So….print your workbook HERE…

And here is this video below!

(Or listen to it on iTunes!)

I want so many good things for you!

Love and hope,

Donna

Episode 3—Think-Feel-Eat Broadcast/Podcast: Bullying Ourselves to Goal Weight With Negative Thoughts? Part II of II

 

I. REVIEW From Last Week: Negative Thoughts and Beliefs About Us—They Keep Us Stuck in Our Weight Loss Efforts

 

 

 

Get your handout for today’s new material (and print it off and fill it in—you can change your thoughts!)

 

A. Beliefs

1. But a belief is just a Thought that we have thought over and over and over again

a. Cinderella—“A dream is a wish your heart makes…when you’re fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches…whatever you wish for you keep.”
b. “A Belief is a Thought your mind thinks…over and over again. Change Thoughts, you will change your Beliefs too…with new Thoughts you’re sure to win!”

2. Remember, What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, tells us that the brain is like a computer, and it believes whatever we tell it over and over again
3. So….if we can manage our brain and get ahold of those negative, recurring Thoughts about ourselves and turn them around, we can change our Beliefs about ourselves—and our Feelings and ultimately our Actions.

 

B. Negative Thoughts About Us

1. A negative thought is any thought that produces a result that is NOT a result we are trying to achieve; we think they are facts
2. We can change negative thoughts in general and negative thoughts about our weight and size specifically

 

C. We Look for and Find Evidence for Our Negative Thoughts About Us

1. Fact of life: When we think something about someone (even ourselves!), we look for evidence that those thoughts are true—we enumerate them, stack them up, and prove the Thought!
2. We become preoccupied with finding evidence for those Thoughts—even if we don’t mean to!

 

II. REVIEW From Last Week: Managing Those Negative Thoughts About Us

 

A. We can’t just keep the old negative ones and add positive ones onto them

1. We need to get rid of the current negative ones
2. We must believe that we need to change our Thoughts
3. We must believe that we can manage our minds if we work on it

 

B. We must question our old negative thoughts

a. Is this really a fact? (Usually not…)
b. Do I want this thought?
c. Can I change this thought?

 

III. Three Exercises

 

A. Exercise 1: List Positive Non-Weight-Related Thoughts

1. Let’s start with the positive thoughts you have about yourself that are non-weight related

a. These will not be weight/size/body/fitness related
b. We need a library of positive thoughts
2. Ask for help from a friend or family member if needed—ask them what they think you like most about yourself unrelated to weight (not what they like…but what they think you like!).

 

B. Exercise 2: List Current Positive Weight-Related Thoughts

1. List anything that you even SOMETIMES think about yourself that is good and weight or food or size or fitness related
2. These can be as simple as “I like a lot of vegetables”; “I love walking”; I know how to make low fat skillet dinners” etc.

 

C. Exercise 3: Replace Negative Weight-Related Thoughts

1. Next, list the negative thoughts and beliefs you have about weight/size/body/fitness

a. Be honest!
b. You’re not going to keep them—but you can’t get rid of them if you don’t acknowledge them
c. You might think they’re true—you might think they’re facts; you might think they’re real…..but even the real ones that are changeable features can be tweaked to serve you better

2. Next list positive thoughts you would like to have about your weight/size/body/fitness

a. All the way to the right…..list the linked ones first (the ones that are opposite of the negative ones)
b. At the bottom, add any other non-linked ones you would like to believe
c. Keep adding to this

3. In the middle, list the Monkey Bar Thoughts That You Can believe right now

a. Example Negative: I always overeat after 8:00
b. Example Thought I Want: I decide the night before what my eating hours will be the next day
c. Monkey Bar Thought: I am learning how to decide the night before what my eating hours will be the next day OR I can write down a longer eating window tomorrow but then choose to shorten it OR I can eat snacks after 8:00 only at the dining room table.
d. If you can’t come up with many “monkey bar” thoughts for your negative thoughts around weight, you might need to start with non-weight ones from this list that you already believe—

i. For many years, I wanted to write a book called “If I’m so clever, why can’t I lose weight?”…..I couldn’t understand why I could do certain things but not around weight loss!
ii. (Now I know it’s because of my brain, neurotransmitters, hormones, addictive food qualities, not using my adult brain, eating all the time…..all the things!

 

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Think-Feel-Eat #2 Bullying Ourselves to Goal Weight With Negative Thoughts? Part I of II

Think-Feel-Eat #2 Bullying Ourselves to Goal Weight With Negative Thoughts? Part I of II

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Can we think ourselves thin?

Can we think ourselves fat?

Well…yes and no!

Our thoughts lead to our feelings…and they both yield actions.

If we think negative thoughts about ourselves, essentially bullying ourselves into weight loss, we will have actions that do not get us where we want to go.

If we think positive thoughts about ourselves, essentially thinking thoughts that lead to empowering feelings, we will have actions that DO get us where we want to go.

So….yes we can think ourselves to our results!

And learning to manage our minds and change thoughts that give empowering feelings and productive actions is what Think-Feel-Eat is all about!

I want so many good things for you!

Love and hope,

Donna

I. Self Coaching Model Review

 

 

A. Believe all is 50/50

1. Effect on thoughts
2. We can accept the unchangeable without beating ourselves up…these thoughts don’t hurt us if they are just part of the half of negative in life.

 

B. C T F A R—Brooke Castillo’s Self-Coaching Model

1. CTFAR—See Totally FAR! 😊

a. Circumstance—One fact happening right now
b. Thought—A Thought that we think about that circumstance
c. Feeling—a Feeling that is created from that Thought
d. Actions—Actions that we take because of our Thought and Feeling
e. Result—the outcome or Result from the Actions that we took

2. Thought

a. We need to be able to see the thoughts that are unkind or punishing to ourselves
b. We must believe that these thoughts are leading to our feelings and our feelings are leading to our actions
c. We tend to believe all that we think—like if it is a Thought we are having, it must be true
d. All thoughts are optional—we can change them if we want to or need to
e. If we believe all of our thoughts, we will have feelings we don’t want

3. Feeling—

a. Our feelings are results of our thoughts—this is why it is crucial to control our thoughts…to take control of our brain and manage our thoughts instead of letting our thoughts run us.
b. We can go into the model and get a new feeling by going right above the Feeling line into the Thought line and changing that Thought (when appropriate)
c. Feelings are real—but sometimes they are based on Thoughts that we don’t want to have or that do not serve us
d. Goal is not continual happy Feelings that give the Result we want to achieve

4. Actions

a. We take actions always based on feelings…..
b. Our current actions in our weight loss efforts are a direct result of our Thoughts and Feelings….
c. We think it’s the other way around…that we Think and Feel because of our current Actions…but really our Thoughts and Feelings cause us to Act in certain ways (and, of course, get a certain Result!)

 

 

II. Negative Thoughts and Beliefs About Us—They Keep Us Stuck in Our Weight Loss Efforts

 

A. Beliefs

1. We might say that we can’t help it—we just believe this negative thing about ourselves and can’t be undone
2. But a belief is just a Thought that we have said over and over and over again

a. Cinderella—“A dream is a wish your heart makes…when you’re fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches…whatever you wish for you keep.”
b. “A Belief is a Thought your mind thinks…over and over again. Change Thoughts, you will change your Beliefs too…with new Thoughts you’re sure to win!’

3. Remember, “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself,” tells us that the brain is like a computer, and it believes whatever we tell it over and over again
4. So….if we can manage our brain and get ahold of those negative, recurring Thoughts about ourselves and turn them around, we can change our Beliefs about ourselves!
5. A Belief is a deeply-ingrained Thought!

 

B. Negative Thoughts About Us

1. A negative thought is any thought that produces a result that is NOT a result we are trying to achieve
2. We think these are facts
3. We can change negative thoughts in general and negative thoughts about our weight and size specifically

 

C. We Look for and Find Evidence for Our Negative Thoughts About Us

1. Fact of life: When we think something about someone (even ourselves!), we look for evidence that those thoughts are true—we enumerate them, stack them up, and prove the Thought!
2. We become preoccupied with finding evidence for those Thoughts—even if we don’t mean to!
3. These Thoughts narrow our focus…we can’t see beyond them

 

III. Managing Those Negative Thoughts About Us

 

A. We can’t just keep the old negative ones and add positive ones onto them

1. We need to get rid of the current negative ones
2. We must believe that we need to change our Thoughts
3. We must believe that we can manage our minds if we work on it

 

B. We must question our old negative thoughts

a. Is this really a fact? (Usually not…)
b. Do I want this thought?
c. Can I change this thought?

 

D. Next Week!

1. Looking at specific negative thoughts that we have about ourselves and our weight loss and body
2. How can we change these “bullying” thoughts to more productive thoughts
3. What good thoughts do you already have about yourself?
4. What Monkey Bar Thoughts can you use to change negative thoughts?

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Think-Feel-Eat #1: Introducing the Self Coaching Model (The Think-Feel-Act Series)

Think-Feel-Eat #1: Introducing the Self Coaching Model (The Think-Feel-Act Series)

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This is the first episode of Think-Feel-Eat and is chock-full of valuable information for your weight loss journey–and for your life journey! Yep…I think it’s that impactful! In this broadcast, I introduce the first Thursday evening Model (recorded live in the FREE FB group every Thursday evenings!). The Self-Coaching Model, created by life coach Brooke Castillo, is a framework for chaning your life, understanding your thoughts and feelings, and taking the actions that you desire in your life. Tall order? Maybe….but watch and be amazed!

In this first episode of Thursday evening Models, I introduce the elements of The Model and apply them to several different circumstances to show you how The Model can be used in real life situations, thoughts, and feelings. I spend time to really give an understanding of the five elements of The Model: Circumstances, Thoughts, Feelings, Actions, and Results.
This material is life-changing, and many thanks are given to Brooke for her generosity in giving in to the world! And allowing weight loss coaches and others to share it with their readers and viewers!

As always…I have an outline below…but first…

The general model picture (click HERE to download):

And today’s finished Model board….don’t let this picture scare you….after a couple of weeks of learning The Model, I could do it driving down the road, fixing dinner, and working out–in my head! Sooooo cool!

Love and hope,

Donna 

A. Pre-Requisites

1. Believe that life is 50% good and 50% bad—or some near combination of that

a. You don’t expect everything to be perfect
b. You are willing to accept the bad in life as needed

2. Believe in the components of the model for changing your life

a. C T F A R
b. Cee Totally FAR! (mnemonic)
c. See how they interact with each other

B. Understand the C Line First

1. Circumstances

a. Things that happen or that are that everyone believes happened
b. Can be proven in a court of law
c. No describers, disclaimers, trigger words, negative words, or positive words
d. Every single person you ask believes that that is a circumstance

2. When you think a thought is a circumstance

a. It is raining outside

i. No describers
ii. No thoughts about it
iii. Can be proven
iv. NOT: The rain is keeping people from having fun today
v. The rain is keeping people from having fun today is a thought—not everyone agrees with this

b. The traffic is stopped at the corner of Jefferson and Illinois

i. Traffic apps will say this
ii. The cars are stopped
iii. No describers
iv. Can be proven
v. NOT: The traffic is so bad
vi. Traffic is bad is a thought—not everyone agrees with this

c. Joe Smith died

i. Fact
ii. Obituary proves it
iii. No describers
iv. Not: It is sad that Joe Smith died
v. It is sad that Joe Smith died is a thought—not everyone agrees with this

 

C. Understand the Thought Line Next

1. Thoughts are sentences in your mind
2. They are your judgment or analysis or beliefs about something
3. We think they are circumstances—but they are not because they are in your brain and not everyone agrees with them
4. Thoughts drive everything

a. What we think about the rain
b. What we think about the stopped cars
c. What we think about Joe Smith’s death

5. Thoughts influence our feelings—and then our actions
6. When we have a thought that isn’t helping us reach our goals (goals like a better relationship, losing weight, growing our business, loving more, etc.), we can change our thoughts and this will help us change our feelings—and then our actions will follow!

D. Understand the Feeling Line Next

1. Feelings are vibrations in the body (not sensations like cold or hunger but how we would describe grief or joy or nervousness)
2. How we feel is based on what we think

a. If we think the rain is keeping us from having fun, we will feel a different way than if we think the weather is needed for the farmers
b. If we think the traffic is keeping us from our party, we will feel different than if we think the traffic means that someone else will have to clean the kitchen
c. If we think Joe Smith’s death is sad because we loved him, we will feel different than someone who wanted him to die on death row

 

E. Understand the Action Line

1. All of our actions stem from Thoughts-Feelings
2. If we want to change our lives, we will be very purposeful to change our thoughts and feelings (the basis of self coaching)
3. We act according to Thought and Feelings

a. If we feel sad about the weather, we will complain and bring the family down. If we feel okay about the weather, we will look for other fun options.
b. If we feel anxious about the traffic, we will worry about being late for work, scramble and make phone calls, try to reschedule meetings. If we feel glad about the traffic, we will text Hubby or daughter, have them clean the kitchen and listen to our favorite music in the traffic.
c. If we feel sad about Joe Smith’s death, we will seek comfort, cry, reach out, potentially eat our feelings, etc. If we feel glad about Joe Smith’s death, we will visit the execution and write about it, telling others that justice was served.

F. Understand the Results Line

1. Our results prove our thoughts
2. There is a direct correlation from Results to Thoughts
3. This is the basis of Positive Thinking and Law of Attraction—but without realizing that our Actions come into play too!
4. How our results prove our thoughts

a. If we listen to music and enjoy the traffic, we are proving the thought that someone else is cleaning the kitchen
b. If we complain about the weather and bring everyone down, we will not make other happy plans (or will do it half heartedly)
c. If we are at Joe Smith’s execution because we want to see justice served, we will have the result of thinking that he needed to be executed.

 

G. I Can’t Wait to Teach You to Apply This

1. Has changed so many things for me

a. Expectations of my husband and kids
b. How I view urges and weight management issues
c. How much I love
d. How much I judge
e. How I respond to criticism
f. How I work

2. Some future circumstances we will plug in

a. Three in-laws call me Donna
b. I ate 6 cookies last night
c. Someone said XXX and XX about me (quoted)
d. My kids visited one time in October
e. My weight has been 165 for four months

 

H. Free Content and Paid Services

1. Free video teaching weekly at Donna’s Weight Loss Lifestyle Facebook Group
2. Free hour long fasting webinar: https://intermittentfastingwebinar.com
3. Month-long Intermittent Fasting Course: https://intermittentfastingcourse.com
4. Weight loss coaching—email characterinklady@gmail.com

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