Hi! I’m Donna Reish, IF teacher, weight loss coach, blogger, and half of “The Minus 220 Pound Pair” as my husband and I have lost over 220 pounds together (160 of that in the past couple of years through the Perfect Storm of Weight Loss habits and strategies I teach!).
In this episode, I present Part I of II of our Goal Weight Identity.
When we want to become something new, we have many steps to take…..
We often plan on the doing steps. In the case of losing weight, this often means foods, workouts, plans, etc.
But one thing we need to spend more time on than we do is becoming that new person RIGHT now in our Thoughts.
So in this Think-Feel-Episode, I’m going to introduce how to do this—how to develop our new Goal Weight Identity.
I begin by re-introducing the Think-Feel-Act cycle with an example we can all relate to—that we Feel and then we take Actions towards people based on what we Think about them. (This example is one in which we can clearly see—Yes! I do Act based on how I FEEL about someone!)
Then I describe how this relates to our Goal Weight Identity and how we view ourselves. If we view ourselves as someone who weighs our goal weight and wears the size we desire, we take Actions aligned with that belief.
On the other hand, if we view ourselves as someone who can’t lose weight or wear a smaller size, we take Actions that keep us right there.
I use some material from a book called What to Say When You Talk to Yourself to expound on how our brains believe anything we tell them!
Then we move into the big picture of Goal Weight Identity, including what it is, I AM thoughts, identifying as someone who struggles with weight, becoming aware of what we are doing, and more.
This episode can help you with any GOAL—time management (helping my time clients soooo much!), business, exercise, relationship, weight, and more!
A. Introducing Think -Feel-Act
1. Coaching, coaching, and self-development framework
a. We Think a thought that causes us to Feel a feeling—and that feeling leads to our taking Actions that help us reach our goals
b. Brooke Castillo’s Self-Coaching Model was designed with the Think Feel Act cycle in the middle of it
ii. Circumstance; Thought; Feeling; Actions; Result
c. We can pull out the Think-Feel-Act (or in our case here, the Think-Feel-Eat) portions and see what our Thoughts are causing us to Feel and how that Feeling is causing us to Act.
2. Example in real life
a. Someone who is always late
b. One TFA Cycle
i. Think: She ruins the meetings by arriving late all the time
ii. Feel: Angry (or Inpatient or Unloving)
iii. Act: Many actions like ignoring her, not listening to her ideas, being hostile towards her
c. Second TFA Cycle
i. Think: She is late because her husband is terminally ill
ii. Feel: Empathy
iii. Act: Many actions like including her, greeting her at the door, saving her a seat, encouraging her idea, seeing her out
B. Look at the Difference Between the Old Model and the New Model
a. Old model has the result of current weight; new model has the result of new weight
b. Right now our brain is firing with the neuroconnections, peptides, hormones, etc. based on our current thoughts
i. These thoughts give us the feelings we now have at our current weight
ii. We must make the current neuro-connectors stop firing with new thoughts
C. The Brain Doesn’t Know Reality From What You Tell It
1. Book: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself
2. This is why kids believe what they are told over and over again about themselves even if it’s not true (and so do adults)
3. When our thoughts match our feelings, we will act
4. Told my daughter she was the best—kids usually believe what they repeatedly hear
D. New Version—Big Picture: We Must Create a New Identity for Ourselves
1. Changing a behavior without changing thoughts is not sustainable
2. Identity defined
a. Collection of thoughts we have about ourselves
b. AND how we think other people see us
3. Especially change I AM thoughts…..these are the basis of our identity
a. They are the bars that we create our cage with
b. They aren’t true, but by using the words I AM, we honestly think they are true
c. I am thoughts become unchangeable to us.
d. We can choose to think whatever we want to think!
4. Stop identifying as someone who struggles with weight
a. We are not “addicted to processed foods”
b. We just don’t want to feel feelings that we have without processed foods
5. We make the current neuro connectors stop firing when we do the following
a. Become aware
b. Get rid of old thoughts
c. Replace old thoughts with new ones
d. Create new neuropathways
6. Awareness (first step)
a. When we know we are thinking a thought that isn’t helpful, this is awareness…the first step
b. We can become so aware that we dismiss the thought before we ever think it
i. Example: know we always think something when we see pics of ourselves
ii. Example: know we always say this to ourselves when we look in a mirror
1. First step is awareness—we have to be aware that our existing thoughts will not generate the feelings that we need to get to our goal weight (and stay there)
2. Once we see that these thoughts need changed, we can work on changing them to get the feeling we do need.
3. This works in every area of life that we want to improve—time management, relationships, business, weight, exercise, etc.
F. Additional Helps
1. Free IF Webinar: intermittentfastingwebinar.com