B. Understand the C Line First
1. Circumstances
a. Things that happen or that are that everyone believes happened
b. Can be proven in a court of law
c. No describers, disclaimers, trigger words, negative words, or positive words
d. Every single person you ask believes that that is a circumstance
2. When you think a thought is a circumstance
a. It is raining outside
i. No describers
ii. No thoughts about it
iii. Can be proven
iv. NOT: The rain is keeping people from having fun today
v. The rain is keeping people from having fun today is a thought—not everyone agrees with this
b. The traffic is stopped at the corner of Jefferson and Illinois
i. Traffic apps will say this
ii. The cars are stopped
iii. No describers
iv. Can be proven
v. NOT: The traffic is so bad
vi. Traffic is bad is a thought—not everyone agrees with this
c. Joe Smith died
i. Fact
ii. Obituary proves it
iii. No describers
iv. Not: It is sad that Joe Smith died
v. It is sad that Joe Smith died is a thought—not everyone agrees with this
C. Understand the Thought Line Next
1. Thoughts are sentences in your mind
2. They are your judgment or analysis or beliefs about something
3. We think they are circumstances—but they are not because they are in your brain and not everyone agrees with them
4. Thoughts drive everything
a. What we think about the rain
b. What we think about the stopped cars
c. What we think about Joe Smith’s death
5. Thoughts influence our feelings—and then our actions
6. When we have a thought that isn’t helping us reach our goals (goals like a better relationship, losing weight, growing our business, loving more, etc.), we can change our thoughts and this will help us change our feelings—and then our actions will follow!
D. Understand the Feeling Line Next
1. Feelings are vibrations in the body (not sensations like cold or hunger but how we would describe grief or joy or nervousness)
2. How we feel is based on what we think
a. If we think the rain is keeping us from having fun, we will feel a different way than if we think the weather is needed for the farmers
b. If we think the traffic is keeping us from our party, we will feel different than if we think the traffic means that someone else will have to clean the kitchen
c. If we think Joe Smith’s death is sad because we loved him, we will feel different than someone who wanted him to die on death row
E. Understand the Action Line
1. All of our actions stem from Thoughts-Feelings
2. If we want to change our lives, we will be very purposeful to change our thoughts and feelings (the basis of self coaching)
3. We act according to Thought and Feelings
a. If we feel sad about the weather, we will complain and bring the family down. If we feel okay about the weather, we will look for other fun options.
b. If we feel anxious about the traffic, we will worry about being late for work, scramble and make phone calls, try to reschedule meetings. If we feel glad about the traffic, we will text Hubby or daughter, have them clean the kitchen and listen to our favorite music in the traffic.
c. If we feel sad about Joe Smith’s death, we will seek comfort, cry, reach out, potentially eat our feelings, etc. If we feel glad about Joe Smith’s death, we will visit the execution and write about it, telling others that justice was served.
