Broadcast #55: Make a Relationship Better by Tomorrow (Or…What Does Learning Pickle Ball Have to Do With Our Thoughts and Marital Harmony?)

Broadcast #55: Make a Relationship Better by Tomorrow (Or…What Does Learning Pickle Ball Have to Do With Our Thoughts and Marital Harmony?)

Are you getting tired of me telling you that you can control your thoughts–and that if you do control your thoughts, you will change the actions you take?

(Have you been following the thoughts and Emotional Eating five part series in the private FB group? Join and search Emotional Eating and the Model to see all the videos!)

Well….I hope you’re not too tired of it because I have a broadcast for you today that spells it out so clearly in a recent example in my marriage—our Pickle Ball Learning!

Yep…something as simple as learning pickle ball can cause us to think negative thoughts about people–and respond negatively to them!

Or we can control those thoughts and make the relationship better IMMEDIATELY!

How cool is that? That we have the power to make a relationship better by changing our thoughts?

I love this so much!

I have so much weight loss, fasting, fitness, cravings, and more to share with you…

But I am learning as I near the end of my weight loss and get ready to move into weight management—that so much of weight loss and weight management is truly in the mind.
Control the mind–and we will control the weight much better.
So let’s start today…with a pickle ball game…

And then we will carry it over to weight loss!

I have a thorough outline for you (you’re welcome—you know I love my outlines!). Enjoy–and think good thoughts!

A. Pickle Ball!

1. Watched Youtube videos
2. Ray Baby told me 543 times (okay, 543-500) how to do it while we played
3. Yet we still kissed every time we switched sides on the court!

B. Why?

1. Because our thoughts lead to our actions
2. Each time Ray Baby told me what to do, how to hold the racket, how to serve, and how to correct my mistakes, I was free to think anything I wanted…..

a. “Why does he keep telling me what to do? It’s not like he’s a Pickle Ball champ!”
b. “He is so helpful and kind. He always gives good advice. I love it that he wants me to improve so we can enjoy it more!”

3. What I thought each time he “coached” me would determine my actions next

a. Why does he keep telling me what to do—my actions would be anger towards him, discord, and unhappy game
b. He wants to help me so we enjoy it more—my actions would be kindness and gratefulness towards him; unity; and happy game.

 

C. Why Do I Have to Think These Thoughts If He Doesn’t Towards Me?

1. First of all, thankfully, we’ve been in this together long enough that he does too—we are both willing to think the thoughts and have the actions that lead to our marital joy
2. My kitchen instructions
3. What if he doesn’t do it too?

a. Does that make my thoughts and actions any different?
b. I have complete control over how I think, feel, and act in situations—and it isn’t based on what he does!
c. His thoughts and actions have no bearing on mine

 

D. You Can Be Right or You Can Be Happy

1. Doesn’t happy feel better than right?
2. Every time we do something petty (like respond negatively in pickle ball), we are making the choice to be right—and it never leads to happiness

a. Leads to drama
b. Leads to discord and disunity
c. Takes time to get back to where you were—and it wasn’t necessary at all!

3. Every time we do something like the “high road” (like respond positively in pickle ball), we are making the choice to be happy—but not right

a. Leads to unity
b. Leads to a continuation of love and joy in the relationship instead of going backwards over something that is absolutely not worth it!

 

E. We Were Taught This Forever

1. “Golden Rule”
2. “Put others before yourself”
3. “Think on these things”
4. “Take ever thought captive”
5. But for years I applied it to my life in terms of “the right thing to do”

a. It’s way more than the right thing to do
b. These thoughts and actions lead to true happiness and unity
c. These thoughts lead to a peace and harmony that you will never get “being right”

 

F. If Thoughts Lead to Actions…

1. We choose what we want to think

a. Stop saying “I can’t control it”
b. Start slowing down and purposely thinking a better thought

2. We think—then we act Period.
3. Thus, we can see our action (cold shoulder, animosity, fighting) and go backwards….

a. If we don’t like our actions, we must change our thoughts
b. Take the negative action and trace it back to the unhelpful thought
c. They are directly and fully linked

4. You can do this NOW! You can have a different relationship with someone tomorrow by thinking differently

a. Stop blaming
b. Stop trying to be right
c. Take 100% responsibility for the relationship—regardless of what the other person does
d. It might be hard…but it gives way more joy than the other options!

 

G. Learn More About “Good Thoughts Living”

1. https://donnareish.com 
2. Donna’s Intermittent Fasting Group

Logical Fallacies (Broadcast #54)

Logical Fallacies (Broadcast #54)

In this broadcast, curriculum author, IF teacher, and former debat coach, helps listeners cut through the noise when it comes to claims, beliefs, and research about weight loss, macronutrients, and more. She begins by drawing on her experience as a high school debate teacher and coach to point out that the terms people are using must be defined in order for us to put them in context and see if they apply or not. Then she explains what logical fallacies and biases are–and how they apply to all people at all intellectual levels. Then she delves into the six common logical fallacies and biases with their definitions, explanations, applications, and what to look for with each one. These include anchoring bias, choice supportive bias, confirmation bias, ostrich bias, bandwagon effect, and false consensus effect. Her hope is that we will use three lenses to evaluate whether something works for us or not in applying what we hear and read:

(1) Personal Experience

(2) Outside Observations

(3) Robust, reliable research

A. Why I Want to Teach About Research and Thinking

 

1. Reading specialist masters work, language arts curriculum author, former high school debate coach, parent of seven adult kids whom we wanted to teach to THINK!

a. Teach levels of reading—literal, inferential, critical
b. Teach our kids not to believe everything they hear or read—to consider the source, experience, repeatability, logic, etc.
c. Teach our kids to be wary of people using the words never, ever, always, not, none, all, etc. (in our case, you will NEVER lose weight if you eat carbs or you will ALWAYS gain weight if you eat fat!)

2. Debate

a. Define terms—so many people do not do this when citing weight loss info

i. Calories in/Calories out doesn’t work (what doesn’t work about it?)
ii. We know insulin is all that matters ? (Matters for what?)
iii. We can see calorie restriction doesn’t work from the Biggest Loser study? (How doesn’t it work—-they lost weight, so it worked; if you mean they couldn’t sustain the protocol afterwards, then that part didn’t work)

b. Evidence from a credible source

i. Trained our debaters to point out right or left wing extreme publications
ii. Trained our debaters to point out sources that funded their own research for their stance
iii. Trained our debaters to point out sources that were “magazine-like” rather than true journal publications

3. Nutrition and politics!

a. Everybody has an opinion
b. Throw research around like it’s gospel regardless of source, date, repeatability, robustness, etc.
c. Confusing!

B. Why We Believe One Over the Other—Logical Fallacies and Biases

 

1. Who and what they appeal to

a. They appeal to the group and tell you that you are smarter (or make you feel that you are smarter—you and this whole group believes this, so it can’t be wrong!)
b. Appeal to the part of the brain that deals with emotion—the amegdela
c. They appeal to a primitive reaction (toddler brain)—making us feel smart
2. People who fall for logical fallacies and biases can be any intelligence level
a. Studies have shown that highly intelligent and less intelligent people fall for them equally (because of the part of the brain they appeal to—we all have that part of the brain working for emotional appeal, regardless of IQ)
b. Two race cars example

i. Can have two race cars—a beautiful, shiny. Fast,, new one and a clunker that hardly moves
ii. If both of them are turned off, the faster one still won’t “win”
iii. True with intelligence and logical fallacies—even someone who is extremely smart who is not thinking with their pre-frontal cortext but instead is being driven by emotion (amegdela), they still wouldn’t “win the race.”

 

C. Six Common Logical Fallacies and Biases

 

1.Anchoring Bias—Believing the first piece of evidence you receive

a. This is super compelling in weight loss/nutrition—-we learn something from one source then any source that disagrees with that first source is automatically wrong
b. Since you have that first piece of “evidence,” you feel smarter even when other opinions are presented
c. Example:

i. I used to attempt very low carb and some keto. When I branched out, I was biased against carbohydrates, saying things like “If you’re going to eat an apple, you might as well eat a Snickers bar. At least it has some protein too.”
ii. My bias was anchored on the first belief that all carbs are bad—even healthy ones.

d. Things to look for: Do you never change your mind with new data?

2.Choice Supportive Bias—can’t see drawback in your own position

e. Once we make a choice, we can’t be wrong
f. We feel smart with our original choice and do not want to admit we are wrong
g. We won’t believe any downsides in our original choice because it makes us look like we were wrong; another choice or future info can’t be right
h. Research and critical thinking
i. Even good research can’t convince us when we have that first “must be right” choice
j. Tip: Be just as critical about what you don’t believe as you are about what you do believe.
k. Example:

i. I believed and taught that you should open your eating window with low carbs to keep insulin low for the first part of your eating window.
ii. I didn’t want to see any downsides to this (satisfaction, too many calories, etc.) since I felt that my original choice was right and I had been teaching it.
iii. Hard for me to go back now and say just open with real food—-not overeating (i.e. too many calories) and not concerned with macros, even though I know this is a more satisfying and potentially less caloric way to open your window.
iv. (Note: Many people NEED to open their window with low carb foods to keep cravings lower, but I no longer teach it as universal as it doesn’t help everyone.)

k. Things to look out for: Can you list the problems with your position?

3.Confirmation Bias—looking for evidence that agrees with something we already believe

a. We look for articles, studies, blog posts, FB posts, etc. that agree with something that we already agree with

i. This forces us to exclude good research or conflicting information
ii. It also forces us to stay in our own shell and only listen to people whom we agree with
iii. Makes us feel smart to find things that agree with us

b. For instance

i. The only reason we read through a thread on social media is for your own pleasure
ii. No research—just the fact that it confirms your bias towards something
iii. Confirming our biases makes us feel smart

c. Example:

i. We believe insulin is all that matters in weight loss, so when we see a study about how thousands of people lost weight with calorie restriction, we won’t open it—-can’t be true anyway.
ii. We purposely only seek out what we agree with.

d. Things to look out for: Do you seek out information because it makes you feel good?

4. Ostrich Bias—ignoring negative research or contradictory info

a. Similar to confirmation bias
b. Decision to ignore negative info or research to the contrary
c. We ignore it entirely, sticking our heads in the sand
d. Example: I did this with Diet Coke—-wouldn’t read the info or research. Would delete articles people sent me.
e. Things to look out for:

i. Have you ever purposely looked for opposite research?
ii. Have you ever said, “There is no evidence for _____”

5. Bandwagon Effect—cultural…something is popular everywhere, so people believe it

a. Huge in social media
b. This is probably the biggest bias we face today because of social media—so easy to join a bandwagon and be confirmed in what we believe every hour on the hour!
c. Fads/popular/cultural
d. We must be smart because so many people believe this!
e. Example: Breakfast is the most important meal (adults only—children and teens have different nutrition needs)….so many joined this bandwagon!
f. Things to look out for:

i. Have there been longitudinal studies on your position?
ii. Is there a consensus in the scientific community or is it primarily pushed by influencers?

6. False Consensus Effect—your group has special knowledge and knows more than other groups

a. Within a bubble

i. One of the biggest ones for people in live groups and social media groups
ii.When we are immersed in a certain belief with people who have that same belief all the time, we think that’s how everyone thinks or that is how everyone should think.
iii. Similar dynamics to bandwagon except not as universal—more in a bubble of a group

b. Bandwagon vs. consensus—this is often counter popular (going against the culture)
c. This effect also feeds into our self esteem—because people agree with us.
d. Example:

i. I was in an exercise group that said that weights were bad for you. I agreed with them, said I could never do weights, said they were boring and ineffective, made jokes about the metal and the clunkiness of weight machines at the Y, etc. because I was under the false consensus effect.
ii. And the group continued to feed into that belief.

e. Things to look out for: Mocking, sarcasm, name calling, ad hominum attacks (impacting the person)

Create a “Tomorrow Real-for-Me Food Plan” (Broadcast #53)

Create a “Tomorrow Real-for-Me Food Plan” (Broadcast #53)

Hello, Fasting Friends! I have had so many requests for food and eating help. Some want to see my daily food intake for a few days (coming
soon!). Some want to know why they aren’t losing weight in spite of an 18 or 19 hour daily fast. Others want to know what food protocol they should do.

In today’s broadcast, I am giving you hope! I am giving you a simple approach (takes me two minutes the day before to write my plan and two minutes at the end of the day to see how I’ve done that day in sticking with my plan!). I am showing you how to create food habits that will really work–because you start where ever you are and “Jump Up” (in one percent jumps) from there.

Oh how I want habits, health, and goal weights for all of you! I love being so close to my final goal–and tweaking and experimenting and being curious about how I can keep going and get there.

(Did you hear that Ray Baby and I have recently become “The Minus 205 Pound Pair”? Yep, we have just reached the milestone of losing over 200 pounds together (155 of those pounds have been in the past couple of years!).)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this broadcast—and i hope you start your “Tomorrow Real-for-Me Food Plan” right away!

Love and hope,

Donna

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3 Ways to Get Into Ketosis (Broadcast 52)

3 Ways to Get Into Ketosis (Broadcast 52)

 Dear Listener and Learner,

I’m so glad you’re both! We can listen, listen, listen…but it is learning/applying what we hear that really matters. Doesn’t it? Anyway, thanks for joining me!

Ketosis is a coveted space to be in by many people. When most people think of ketosis, they think of the keto diet. However, if the keto diet were the only way to get into “fat burning,” how would people lose weight every day with other protocols?

(Yes, please….make all decisions for your health and weight management through three lenses: research, personal experience, outside observations of others!)

Come to find out, we can get into fat burning in many ways. On today’s broadcast, I discuss three ways to get into ketosis—that is three ways to burn through circulating glucose and stored glycogen to get the body into the optimal position for fat burning.

In this broadcast, I discuss what is ketosis and why people seek it. Then I move into three ways that we can get into ketosis. The first way is the most commonly known—the ketogenic diet. I also point out some of the downfalls of this method (including that people think they’re doing keto is they simply reduce carbs—the keto diet is not simply reducing carbohydrates).

The second way I discuss is my personal favorite, Intermittent Fasting. Who knew that we can get into ketosis daily with simply not eating for 16 to 20 hours out of every 24 hours!? Fasting has been found to get people into ketosis/fat burning 16 x more frequently than the typical diet.

The final way I discuss is another personal favorite—strength training. Strength training is a FAST way to burn through glycogen stores in the muscles—like rapid fasting! How cool is that?

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Intermittent Fasting Journal #51 – How Ray Baby’s “Pollyanna” Approach Was Mostly Right—Our Thoughts Dictate Our Actions

Intermittent Fasting Journal #51 – How Ray Baby’s “Pollyanna” Approach Was Mostly Right—Our Thoughts Dictate Our Actions

In this broadcast, Donna Reish, author of over 100 curriculum books for students, Intermittent Fasting teacher, blogger, and online teacher, teaches how our thoughts affect our results by looking at her husband’s Pollyanna way of thinking.

She delves into how working with weight loss and life coach Brooke Castillo in Self-Coaching Scholars has led Donna to see how her husband’s way of thinking has been right all along! (Gasp!)

When we think differently about people, situations, our goals, life’s disappointments, and more, we act differently. When we think good thoughts, we act in a way that brings good results. When we think bad thoughts, we act in a way that brings bad results.

Donna applies this to work, marriage, weight loss, and exercise with examples of both—thoughts that lead us to negative results in these areas and thoughts that lead us to positive results in these areas.

She then talks about the need to be extremely specific in our thoughts—take a circumstance or person and think an intentional thought—and then our actions will follow these specific thoughts.

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