Think-Feel-Eat Episode #25: Self-Sabotage in Weight Loss Part I (of II)

Think-Feel-Eat Episode #25: Self-Sabotage in Weight Loss Part I (of II)

by

Hi! I’m Donna Reish, IF teacher, weight loss coach, blogger, and half of “The Minus 220 Pound Pair” as my husband and I have lost over 220 pounds together (160 of that in the past couple of years through the Weight Loss Lifestyle habits and strategies I teach!).

In this episode, I shed some light on that common term, self-sabotage. In weight loss terms, this is used to say that we thwart our own efforts at losing weight.

But what does it mean? Is it helpful to use that term? (Language Arts Lady says that words and thoughts DO matter!)

I start out defining self-sabotage then explaining what the term really is—a euphemism for little quits, giving up, giving in, choosing something besides our goals in that moment, etc.

Euphemisms are words that help soften the reality of that moment. They are helpful for us in dealing with crises, loss, and more—and should be used in those instances. However, when it comes to what we call deviations from our plan, euphemisms are not very helpful.

We would do a lot less self-sabotaging if we called our deviations what they really are—going off plan or choosing a food in the moment rather than our long term goals during that moment. AND extending grace to ourselves as we do it (as opposed to “beating ourselves up” for our deviations).

Next I move into what “self-sabotages” start with—a Thought. They start with a Thought such as “this won’t matter” or “a bite won’t hurt” or “I’ll start Monday.” I teach the importance of capturing that Thought in the moment and how we can replace it with a Pocket Thought (a thought we have prepared ahead of time and store in our “pocket” for a “rainy day”!).

Another anti-self-sabotage tip I teach is that of learning how to “sit with urges” rather than trying to use will-power or white knuckling through them. If we know they are coming, and we are ready for them, we can sit with them more easily. (Find more about this in “10 Ways to Sit With Urges” in Think-Feel-Eat Episode #9.)

Finally, the last two tips have to do with two of my favorite weight loss strategies: Deciding Ahead of Time and Creating a Protocol. (More on both of these can be found at donnareish.com/perfectstorm)

Join me next week in Episode #26 for Part II of the Self-Sabotage two parter—specific food and daily tips to stay on—and stop “obstructing your own weight loss efforts.”

Find all of my episodes, outlines, and articles for my two weekly broadcasts:

(1)  Weight Loss Lifestyle broadcast (formerly Donna’s Intermittent Fasting Broadcast)

(2)  Think-Feel-Eat broadcast 

Sign up for my free webinar: intermittentfastingwebinar.com

Think Feel Eat 25 Self-Sabotage Part I (of II)

A. Definition

1. According to Psychology Today: Behavior is said to be self–sabotagingwhen it creates problems in daily life and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common self–sabotaging behaviors include procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and forms of self-injury such as cutting.

2. Language Arts Lady—take it apart

a. Self—me; myself; done by me

b. Sabotage—deliberately destroying, damaging, or obstructing

3. For our purposes, we will call it “when I deliberately (or unknowingly—more on that later) obstruct my weight loss/maintenance or health progress.”

B. Euphemisms in Weight Loss

1. Euphemisms are words we use to soften the blow or lighten the real thing that is happening.

2. We use euphemisms to make something seem or feel less severe than it is

a. Left me or doesn’t want to see me—instead of dumped me

b. Passed on, we lost him—instead of died

3. The problem of doing this with weight loss

a. Makes it seem like it is typical behavior

b. Makes it seem like it isn’t very serious or important

c. Makes it seem commonplace

d. Makes it seem inevitable

e. Makes it seem like it is outside of our control

4. Euphemisms in weight loss that are not serving us

a. Fell off the wagon

b. Got off track

c. X overtook me (cravings, etc.)

d. Lost my willpower

e. I always self-sabotage

f. The cupcakes were calling my name

5. Say exactly what is happening—without beating ourselves up or tearing ourselves down

a. Not I always self-sabotage but instead I always CHOOSE

b. Not I fell off the wagon, but instead I DECIDED

c. Not I lost my willpower, but instead I gave up my goals and did X

d. Not something overtook me, but instead I wanted X more than X

e. State it as a fact—not as a personal defect!

C. Self-Sabotage Starts With a Thought

1. The Thought right before we engage in the behavior that sabotages or obstructs us from our goals

2. This “right before the behavior” thought is the one we need to take hold of and change

3. Ways to end self-sabotage

a. Call it what it is: little quits, giving up, giving in, choosing, deciding, going off plan….use the pronoun I…

b. Work on Thoughts ahead of time

c. Make decisions ahead of time with your pre-frontal cortext

d. Have firm protocol in place so you know when you are going off and what that will look like

e. Have a mechanism in place to end self-sabotaging behaviors before they get out of hand

f. Don’t ever have “screw it” times again—instead plan exactly what you will do in unusual circumstances

g. Use “tricks” to keep you on the protocol you have chosen

D. Ways to End Self-Sabotage (or Ways to End Giving Up!)

1. Call it what it is

a. Little quits, giving up, giving in, choosing, deciding, going off plan

b. Use the pronoun I

c. Don’t use euphemisms

d. Don’t adopt typical diet slang

2. Work on Thoughts ahead of time

a. Obstructing your progress starts with a Thought

b. What is that Thought right before you obstruct your progress?

i. This won’t matter

ii. A bite won’t hurt

iii. I’ll start tomorrow

iv. I’ll start Monday

v. I’m not losing now anyway

vi. Doesn’t matter what I eat—you can lose weight eating anything (true….but can you STOP eating just anything?)

c. Get a Thought or two ready!

i. Every bite DOES matter

ii. I can choose to do something different tomorrow; today is already planned

iii. Starting later has never worked for me

d. Use one of the 10 Tips to Sit With Urges (TFE #9)

 3. Make decisions ahead of time with your “adult brain”—pre-frontal cortex

a. This keeps you from having to use willpower to so much (WLL 60 and WLL 61)

b. This allows you to plan the day ahead of time (Get your freebie journal sheet here!)

i. TFE: The One BIG Decision to Make Ahead of Time

ii. TFE: The Daily Decision to Make for Weight Loss

c. This allows you to decide something different on another day. “There’s always tomorrow!” is a helpful thought when you have already decided ahead of time.

4. Have firm protocol in place so you know when you are going off and what that will look like

a. People who are successful at weight loss/maintenance aren’t perfect; they’re just on way more than they are off!

b. 80/20 works—it’s 70/30 or 60/40 that doesn’t work

c. When protocol is firmly in place, it is obvious “I’m going off for this wedding”—or “I’m staying on protocol completely even when we got out for dinner this week”

d. You don’t “fall off a wagon”—there will be no wagon to fall off of…this is your way of life 80% of the time…more often than not…how you live.

 E. Next Steps

1. Tools for Self-Sabotaging Behaviors next week! TFE 26!

2. Intermittent Fasting Course—first Monday of each month; use code SAVE20 to get $20 off: intermittentfastingcourse.com

3. Private online coaching

4. Perfect Storm of Weight Loss

Think-Feel-Eat Episode #24: Our Goal Weight Identity Part II (of II)

Think-Feel-Eat Episode #24: Our Goal Weight Identity Part II (of II)

by

Hi! I’m Donna Reish, IF teacher, weight loss coach, blogger, and half of “The Minus 220 Pound Pair” as my husband and I have lost over 220 pounds together (160 of that in the past couple of years through the Weight Loss Lifestyle habits and strategies I teach!).

In this episode, I take us from who we are now to who we will be!

A big part of becoming (anything!) is to head to that place emotionally (thoughts, feelings, identity) as soon as possible to help us move there physically more quickly.

I am continuing last week’s intro to Goal Weight Identity (TFE 23), taking listeners and viewers through my freebie packet (Goal Weight Identity Packet) to change current, less-serving Thoughts to the new Thoughts we will have once we are at our goal weight.

But how do we do that? We can’t believe we are a size six, only eat sugar on pre-determined very special occasions, weigh our goal weight, and wear sleeveless dresses anytime we want right now—we can’t simply say those things and make them be so.

And that is where “Monkey Bar Thoughts” (i.e. Ladder thoughts) help us. In the Goal Weight Identity Packet, I teach how to use future thoughts with some modifiers/degree words to make you believe them right now! (How Language Arts Lady of me, huh?)

We might not be ready to go completely across the monkey bars to the Thought we will have when we are at our goal weight—but we can go across the Monkey Bars with helping words.

Remember, our Thoughts lead to our Feelings. Our Feelings lead to our Actions. If we Think our new identity—the identity we will have when we are at our goal weight—we will start Acting like that new person!

Think-Feel-Eat…Think-Feel-Act….words, thoughts, feelings….they all matter in our weight loss journey!

Find all of my episodes, outlines, and articles for my two weekly broadcasts:

(1)  Weight Loss Lifestyle broadcast (formerly Donna’s Intermittent Fasting Broadcast)

(2)  Think-Feel-Eat broadcast 

Sign up for my free webinar: https://intermittentfastingwebinar.com

 

 

Think Feel Eat 24 Outline Our Goal Weight Identity Part II (of II)

A. Introduction

1. What we are doing at the end of our journey is what we will do to stay there…

2. Think-Feel-Act

a. We act on what we feel

b. We feel from what we think

c. Last week’s example of how we treat someone who is late based on what we think (She ruins the meetings by coming late; she is late again because her husband is terminally ill.)

3. New Identity

a. We take on a new identity when we become something we previously were not (i.e. just got married; just had a baby; just got a different job—we become that new identity—we think like it, feel like it, and act like it)

b. Goal Weight Identity Thoughts

4. Previous episodes

a. Think-Feel-Eat 21

b. Think-Feel-Eat 22

B. Goal Weight Identity Packet—Get Yours Here!  

1. Walk through it

2. Thoughts that we have at our weight now—what thoughts keep us at this weight

3. Thoughts we will have at our new weight

4. Monkey bar thoughts

5. Let yourself dream a little—Sophi and her “tada” potty training

 C. Get More Help!

1. Intermittent Fasting Course—first Monday of each month; use code SAVE20 to get $20 off

2. Private online coaching 

3. Perfect Storm of Weight Loss

 

Think-Feel-Eat Episode #23: Goal Weight Identity Part I (of II)

Think-Feel-Eat Episode #23: Goal Weight Identity Part I (of II)

by

Hi! I’m Donna Reish, IF teacher, weight loss coach, blogger, and half of “The Minus 220 Pound Pair” as my husband and I have lost over 220 pounds together (160 of that in the past couple of years through the Perfect Storm of Weight Loss habits and strategies I teach!).

In this episode, I present Part I of II of our Goal Weight Identity.

When we want to become something new, we have many steps to take…..

We often plan on the doing steps. In the case of losing weight, this often means foods, workouts, plans, etc.

But one thing we need to spend more time on than we do is becoming that new person RIGHT now in our Thoughts.

So in this Think-Feel-Episode, I’m going to introduce how to do this—how to develop our new Goal Weight Identity.

I begin by re-introducing the Think-Feel-Act cycle with an example we can all relate to—that we Feel and then we take Actions towards people based on what we Think about them. (This example is one in which we can clearly see—Yes! I do Act based on how I FEEL about someone!)

Then I describe how this relates to our Goal Weight Identity and how we view ourselves. If we view ourselves as someone who weighs our goal weight and wears the size we desire, we take Actions aligned with that belief.

On the other hand, if we view ourselves as someone who can’t lose weight or wear a smaller size, we take Actions that keep us right there.

I use some material from a book called What to Say When You Talk to Yourself to expound on how our brains believe anything we tell them!

Then we move into the big picture of Goal Weight Identity, including what it is, I AM thoughts, identifying as someone who struggles with weight, becoming aware of what we are doing, and more.

This episode can help you with any GOAL—time management (helping my time clients soooo much!), business, exercise, relationship, weight, and more!

Find all of my episodes, outlines, and articles for my two weekly broadcasts:

(1)  Weight Loss Lifestyle broadcast (formerly Donna’s Intermittent Fasting Broadcast)

(2)  Think-Feel-Eat broadcasts

Sign up for my free webinar: intermittentfastingwebinar.com

 A. Introducing Think -Feel-Act

 1. Coaching, coaching, and self-development framework

a. We Think a thought that causes us to Feel a feeling—and that feeling leads to our taking Actions that help us reach our goals

b. Brooke Castillo’s Self-Coaching Model was designed with the Think Feel Act cycle in the middle of it

i. CTFAR

ii. Circumstance; Thought; Feeling; Actions; Result

c. We can pull out the Think-Feel-Act (or in our case here, the Think-Feel-Eat) portions and see what our Thoughts are causing us to Feel and how that Feeling is causing us to Act.

2. Example in real life

a. Someone who is always late

b. One TFA Cycle

i. Think: She ruins the meetings by arriving late all the time

ii. Feel: Angry (or Inpatient or Unloving)

iii. Act: Many actions like ignoring her, not listening to her ideas, being hostile towards her

c. Second TFA Cycle

i. Think: She is late because her husband is terminally ill

ii. Feel: Empathy

iii. Act: Many actions like including her, greeting her at the door, saving her a seat, encouraging her idea, seeing her out

 B. Look at the Difference Between the Old Model and the New Model

a. Old model has the result of current weight; new model has the result of new weight

b. Right now our brain is firing with the neuroconnections, peptides, hormones, etc. based on our current thoughts

i. These thoughts give us the feelings we now have at our current weight

ii. We must make the current neuro-connectors stop firing with new thoughts

 C.  The Brain Doesn’t Know Reality From What You Tell It

 1. Book: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself

2. This is why kids believe what they are told over and over again about themselves even if it’s not true (and so do adults)

3. When our thoughts match our feelings, we will act 

4. Told my daughter she was the best—kids usually believe what they repeatedly hear

  D. New Version—Big Picture: We Must Create a New Identity for Ourselves

1. Changing a behavior without changing thoughts is not sustainable

2. Identity defined

a. Collection of thoughts we have about ourselves

b. AND how we think other people see us

3. Especially change I AM thoughts…..these are the basis of our identity

a. They are the bars that we create our cage with

b. They aren’t true, but by using the words I AM, we honestly think they are true

c. I am thoughts become unchangeable to us.

d. We can choose to think whatever we want to think!

4. Stop identifying as someone who struggles with weight

a. We are not “addicted to processed foods”

b. We just don’t want to feel feelings that we have without processed foods

5. We make the current neuro connectors stop firing when we do the following

a. Become aware

b. Get rid of old thoughts

c. Replace old thoughts with new ones

d. Create new neuropathways

6. Awareness (first step)

a. When we know we are thinking a thought that isn’t helpful, this is awareness…the first step

b. We can become so aware that we dismiss the thought before we ever think it

i. Example: know we always think something when we see pics of ourselves

ii. Example: know we always say this to ourselves when we look in a mirror

E.  Application

1. First step is awareness—we have to be aware that our existing thoughts will not generate the feelings that we need to get to our goal weight (and stay there)

2. Once we see that these thoughts need changed, we can work on changing them to get the feeling we do need.

3. This works in every area of life that we want to improve—time management, relationships, business, weight, exercise, etc.

 F. Additional Helps

1. Free IF Webinar: intermittentfastingwebinar.com 

2. Private online coaching  

3. Perfect Storm of Weight Loss

Think-Feel-Eat Episode #22: The DAILY Ahead of Time Decision That Makes All the Difference for Weight Loss

Think-Feel-Eat Episode #22: The DAILY Ahead of Time Decision That Makes All the Difference for Weight Loss

by

Hi! I’m Donna Reish, IF teacher, weight loss coach, blogger, and half of “The Minus 220 Pound Pair” as my husband and I have lost over 220 pounds together (160 of that in the past couple of years through the Weight Loss Lifestyle habits and strategies I teach!).

Deciding Ahead of Time could be THE single biggest factor in weight loss. Why? Because when we decide ahead of time, we are using our pre-frontal cortex, the part of our brain that thinks logically, decides ahead of time, wants the best for us, can plan and execute, and more.

In this week’s broadcast, I describe the power of Deciding Ahead of time in general—how we have used this in parenting from toddlers to young adults with amazing results. And how we now apply it to our food and movement.

Research shows that we spend four hours a day resisting temptations and have up to 120 food-related decisions a day. We simply don’t have the willpower for that! Thus, we have a willpower gap. (See Weight Loss Lifestyle #60 and #61 for the details to willpower, how to get more, how to conserve what we have, how to utilize it to its maximum, what to do instead of willpower, and more!)

We need willpower (or something better—read on!) to overcome two big issues with weight loss and weight management—over-desire and over-hunger (which lead to over-eating in both instances).

Deciding ahead of time what we will eat each day is the answer! That is, we can use our pre-frontal cortex to decide WHEN we will eat, WHAT we will eat, and the AMOUNT we will eat—ahead of time!  (See The Perfect Storm of Weight Loss for more help in determining the best food protocol for YOU!)

Listen and learn—and apply this knowledge to your own weight loss or weight management approach. It will change your life!

Get your free journal sheet for your Decide Ahead of time daily food choices here.

Find all of my episodes, outlines, and articles for my two weekly broadcasts:

(1)  Weight Loss Lifestyle broadcast (formerly Donna’s Intermittent Fasting Broadcast) 

(2)  Think-Feel-Eat broadcast

Sign up for my free webinar: intermittentfastingwebinar.com

 

 

A. Episode 22: The One BIG Decision You Need to Make Ahead of Time

1. What foods you are going to eat 80% of the time—your go to food list

2. Food version of abstinence like AA, etc.

3. Pick a Protocol is what protocol you will eat (TFE 16, 17, and 18)

a. Helpful for narrowing down the types of foods you will eat in order to create your caloric deficit and eat the amount you need for your future sized body.

b. Quick review….get your Pick-a-Protocol packet here 

c. Review of the Helpful Foods Lists (download here!) 

d. Can use any protocol that fits The Perfect Storm of Weight Loss

i. Pillar One: Food Decided Ahead—Food Type, Food Amount, Food Time

ii. Pillar Two: Hormones and Neuro-Transmitters/Brain Chemicals (causing cravings, causing depression or motivation, etc. )

iii. Pillar Three: Thoughts and Emotions Management

B.  Willpower Review—Weight Loss Lifestyle 60 and 61

1. Willpower research

a. Found that we spend four hours per day resisting temptations

b. Other experiments (M and M’s on table vs across the room—barriers!) and how much “brain power” they had left for intense tasks

c. Brian Wansink (researcher) has shown that we make 119 food-related decisions each day

 2. We Have a Willpower Gap

a. Willpower gap means that we don’t have enough willpower left to overcome the urges that we are presented with

b. Willpower drains and depletes from all kinds of decisions and actions

3. Why we couldn’t lose weight before

a. We didn’t know that the amount, type, and intensity of WILLPOWER needed to lose weight were nearly impossible to sustain when it comes to food urges.

b. Leaves the weight of the changes on the part of the brain that is ill-equipped to make those decisions and carry the burden of saying no

 

4. It takes willpower to resist (or sit with) over hunger and over desire

a. Over hunger—hunger signals, grehlin tells us we are empty; leptin tells us we are full

b. Over desire—processed foods, frequent eating, sugar and flour concentrations, not real foods all lead to overdesire due to neuro transmitters in the brain that tell us we want more and more of those things each time we have them (dopamine and serotonin)

 

5. Ways we handle willpower ineffectively

a. Eating several small meals a day

b. White knuckling and resisting

c. Eating whatever we want but “counting” (we are eating foods that are too hard to control)

 6. Ways to refill our willpower stores

a. Sleep

b. Conection

c. Prayer

d. Meditation

e. Gratitude

f. Self care

7.  IF Helps With Willpower

8.  Automaticity Helps With Willpower

9. Reduce Six Seductive Craving Combinations helps with willpower

 C. Decisions Ahead of Time

1. Pre-frontal cortex

a. Unaffected by emotions, willpower, cravings, etc.

b. The planning part of our brain

c. The part that has our best interest in mind

d. The part that cares about our future self

2. Decisions in the moment are made with our primal brain

a. Avoid discomfort

b. Seek happiness and immediate gratification

c. Toddler brain

3. Studies showing we always PLAN to eat better ahead of time—the cake vs. fruit order

a. We always think we can do it when we are planning next week

b. Use this “decide ahead of time” strength to our benefit

4. Decide ahead of time! (Free Journal Sheet!)

a. Decide today WHEN you will eat tomorrow

b. Decide today WHAT you will eat tomorrow (watch for upcoming Protocol Planning broadcasts!)

c. Uses your pre-frontal cortex (adult brain) not toddler brain

d. Uses less willpower since it is decided when you are not in the heat of the moment

D. Work on Your Own Perfect Storm of Weight Loss!

1. Get free journal sheet to Decide Ahead of Time what you will eat each day (1-3 minute process!)

2. Follow the Perfect Storm steps! 

3. Schedule a free consult to see if one-on-one coaching is right for you!

 

 

 

 

 

Think-Feel-Eat Episode #21: One BIG Decision to Make Ahead of Time

Think-Feel-Eat Episode #21: One BIG Decision to Make Ahead of Time

by

Hi! I’m Donna Reish, IF teacher, weight loss coach, blogger, and half of “The Minus 220 Pound Pair” as my husband and I have lost over 220 pounds together (160 of that in the past couple of years through the Weight Loss Lifestyle habits and strategies I teach!).

We need to make a lot of decisions in order to lose weight and maintain our loss.

(Oh, the decisions that have gone into my husband and my 220 pounds-together weight loss—and the decisions we have to continually make in order to maintain it! Seriously hard work!)

And the best decisions for weight loss are those that we make ahead of time. (You can find out why when you watch or listen to my extensive willpower episodes—WLL 60 and 61!)

But there is one BIG decision we need to make ahead of time…okay there is more than one.

First, we have to make a decision to follow a lifestyle that will lead us to our goal (such as The Perfect Storm of Weight Loss).

Then within that we will decide our Food Protocol:
1. What times we will eat
2. What food we will eat
3. What amounts we will eat

(These are the first pillar of the Perfect Storm.)

Then once we know our food protocol—the boundaries we have made for ourselves, then we are ready for this BIG one…

What foods will make up 80% of our eating.

These will be foods that are on our protocol, that help with the other aspects of the perfect storm, AND that we enjoy.

So in today’s episode, I give you a great resource for you to start creating your “this is what I eat 80% of the time” list.

And I teach you more about real foods. And dopamine spikes. And cravings. And deciding ahead of time. And staying on protocol—-all the stuff!

(For more about self-integrity and deciding ahead of time, watch/listen to Think Feel Eat 19 (Enemies of Self-Integrity) and 20 (Tools for Self-Integrity).)

Starting with this BIG decision ahead of time, having a food list of what you eat, you will have this hard decision made ahead of time 80% of the time. (The other 20% you’ll plan your Fun Foods—and those will be, well, fun!)

So download your Helpful Food Lists document here!! And make this BIG decision now—ahead of time…not in the moment!

Find all of my episodes, outlines, and articles for my two weekly broadcasts:

(1)  Weight Loss Lifestyle broadcast (formerly Donna’s Intermittent Fasting Broadcast)

(2)  Think-Feel-Eat broadcast 

Sign up for my free webinar: https://intermittentfastingwebinar.com

Click here to download the documents for this episode here!

Think Feel Eat Outline 21 One Big Food Decision You Must Make Ahead of Time

A. Pick-a-Protocol

1. Helpful for narrowing down the types of foods you will eat in order to create your caloric deficit and eat the amount you need for your future sized body.
2. Quick review….get your Pick-a-Protocol packet here
3. Can use any protocol that fits The Perfect Storm of Weight Loss

a. Pillar One: Food Decided Ahead—Food Type, Food Amount, Food Time
b. Pillar Two: Hormones and Neuro-Transmitters/Brain Chemicals (causing cravings, causing depression or motivation, etc. )
c. Pillar Three: Thoughts and Emotions Management

B. Decisions Ahead of Time

1. Pre-frontal cortex

a. Unaffected by emotions, willpower, cravings, etc.
b. The planning part of our brain
c. The part that has our best interest in mind
d. The part that cares about our future self

2. Decisions in the moment are made with our primal brain

a. Avoid discomfort
b. Seek happiness and immediate gratification
c. Toddler brain

C. One Big Food Decision You Need to Make Ahead of Time

1. Already decided your protocol (TFE 16, 17, and 18)
2. Now decide the foods you will eat (on that protocol) 80% of the time
3. A ready-made food list of foods you like that help you with your Perfect Storm of Weight Loss
4. Review of the Helpful Foods Lists (download here!)

Think-Feel-Eat #20: Tools for Self-Integrity (Part II of II)

Think-Feel-Eat #20: Tools for Self-Integrity (Part II of II)

by

Hi! I’m Donna Reish, IF teacher, weight loss coach, blogger, and half of “The Minus 220 Pound Pair” as my husband and I have lost over 220 pounds together (160 of that in the past couple of years through the Weight Loss Lifestyle habits and strategies I teach!). 

Self-Integrity is at the basis of every change we want in our lives—physically, mentally, emotionally, relationally, spiritually, productively….it is the core to why we don’t do what we say we will do—and why we do, do what we say we will do!

Most of us call self-integrity by another name: willpower. We think we just don’t have the willpower to do what we tell ourselves we will do.

And there’s some truth to the fact that we often don’t have the willpower to carry out what we say we will do….but willpower isn’t the only cause of our self-integrity lack.

Last week, in Episode #19 of Think-Feel-Eat, I described a few enemies of self-integrity (what we make past failures mean; perfectionism; not breaking things down {habit formation skills lacking}; relying on willpower; and not deciding ahead of time).

(For more understanding of willpower, see my Weight Loss Lifestyle broadcasts #60 and #61.)

In this week’s episode, I bring good news! Tools!

Tools we can use in our lives and skills we can develop to become the kind of person is filled with self-integrity—the kind of person who does what we say we will do. Yay us!
These tools counteract the enemies of self-integrity and put us on the path to food control, business growth, daily disciplines, relationship nurturing, and much more.
I present a few general tools like Thought Work, sleep, automaticity, and craving reducers.

Then I have created a derivative of BJ Fogg’s (Tiny Habits) ABC’s of Habit Formation by combining his ABC, my experience with attachments and minimum baselines through homeschooling for thirty-two years, and an early teacher (Gregg Harris) in the homeschooling world’s Attachment Approach (Fogg calls this Anchor). This tool works—and I am so excited to present it to you!

 

20 Self Integrity Part II of II (Tools for Self Integrity—Including the ABC Approach!)

A. Review Why We Don’t Do What We Tell Ourselves We Will Do

1. Past failures—what we make them mean
2. Perfectionism
3. Not breaking things down (habit formation)
4. Relying on willpower (Weight Loss Lifestyle 60 and 61)
5. Not deciding ahead of time (today’s tools will help this!)

B. Misc. Tools That Will Make a Difference!

1. Thoughts (Perfect Storm #7)
2. Sleep can refill willpower stores (Weight Loss Lifestyle 42)
3. Automaticity

a. Schedules
b. Repeating same foods

4. Reducing cravings

a. TFE 7, 8, and 9
b. Extend the time between super seductive foods

C. The ABC’s of Self-Integrity

1. Three little steps that the above enemies of self-integrity often diminish
2. Questions/ABC aspect from BJ Fogg Tiny Habits book
3. My introduction to the first two steps from Gregg Harris in The Advanced Homeschooling Workshop
4. The C—Celebration

a. Many used to say that this was actually “Consequences”—the outcome of doing A and B.
b. Researchers now believe that it isn’t the outcome that drives us to create habits and to stay in self integrity
c. We are driven to change behaviors through Feelings

i. Celebration (step three) intensifies and emphasizes positive feelings related to our self integrity
ii. Celebration gives us a built in opportunity to feel the feeling that will help us to continue to build that habit/be in self integrity

 

Click to download

The ABC’s of Self-Integrity

D. Get More Help!

1. The Perfect Storm of Weight Loss teaches the steps to create your own protocol and bring together all aspects of weight loss
2. Willpower Part I and II
3. Intermittentfastingcourse.com
4. Sign up for a free consult call to see if weigh/time management/life coaching with me would help you meet your goals! Donnareish.com/coachingpackages
5. Pick-a-Protocol 16, 17, and 18

Think-Feel-Eat Episode #19: Self-Integrity I of II (Why We Don’t Do What We Tell Ourselves We Will Do!)

Think-Feel-Eat Episode #19: Self-Integrity I of II (Why We Don’t Do What We Tell Ourselves We Will Do!)

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Hi! I’m Donna Reish, IF teacher, weight loss coach, blogger, and half of “The Minus 220 Pound Pair” as my husband and I have lost over 220 pounds together (160 of that in the past couple of years through the Weight Loss Lifestyle habits and strategies I teach!).

The next two episodes’ contents have been life changing for me! And I am happy to present them to you to help you change your life as well.

Not doing what we tell ourselves we will do is probably the greatest thief of our dreams and future life. And yet we do that over and over—and then scratch our heads in bewilderment as to why we don’t do what we tell ourselves we will do.

Come to find out, it isn’t our fault.

In Episode 19 of Think-Feel-Eat, I present several enemies of self-integrity. The bare bones of why we don’t do what we tell ourselves we will do.

(See Weight Loss Lifestyle #60 and #61 for my two Willpower Episodes….super empowering to know why we don’t have the willpower we think we should!)

These range from trusting willpower to get us through to being too vague to waiting until we are in the moment (and using our toddler brains to guide us!).

The good news is that all of these are over-come-able!

We can have self-integrity. And when we do, it will change our lives!

Self-integrity will change our size, weight, health, muscles, food, time management, relationships, home care, self care, work, and more!

As always, I have a full, detailed outline, an audio, and a video version. Start gaining self-integrity today!

Find all of my episodes, outlines, and articles for my two weekly broadcasts:

(1)  Weight Loss Lifestyle broadcast (formerly Donna’s Intermittent Fasting Broadcast)

(2)  Think-Feel-Eat broadcast 

Sign up for my free webinar: intermittentfastingwebinar.com

TFE 19 Outline Self Integrity Part I of II (Why We Don’t Keep Our Word to Ourselves)

A. Defining and Understanding Self-Integrity

1. Definition: the quality of being truthful and honest with yourself, of intentionally aligning personal behaviors and actions to be congruently aligned with your own values and goals.  It requires a commitment to align ourselves to stay consistent with personal values so that we do what we tell ourselves we will do.

2. Difficult because we are not answering to anyone but ourselves

3. Event people who are amazing in integrity with others often are not with themselves.

4.  Self Integrity covers every area of our lives!!

a. Weight

b. Drugs/alcohol/nicotine

c. Pornography

d. Business/scheduling work

e. Family

f. Marriage

g. Shopping

B. Enemies of Self-Integrity

1. Thoughts about our past failures/Negative Self Talk

a. Thoughts about our past failures

i.  When we bring in our past inconsistencies and lack of self-integrity, we can’t move into self integrity even with tools.

ii.  Thoughts and words spoken like “I never do what I say I will do” or “I’ll probably just skip things this time too” or “I can never stay on an eating protocol, so I will probably do that again” will keep us from moving forward even if we do have the tools and the understanding of the processWords/thoughts about the hiddenness of self-integrity

b. Words/thoughts about the hiddenness of self-integrity

i. Nobody will know

ii. Must get to where we want to do it for us—that even if we were the only ones who know, we still want to do it

iii.  In the meantime, we have to believe that when we don’t do what we say, it does matter (health, weight, income, time, etc)—that this thing I said I would do but now don’t want to do will truly affect me.

iv. Better Thought: My past self made this great plan for my current self!

 2. Perfectionism

a.  “Believing your life would be better if you were perfect and thus, should strive for that”

b.  The way we deal with unmet perfectionism is to give up entirely—if we can’t do it perfectly, we just won’t do it.

c.  It is common sense that five minutes of exercise is better than nothing or that staying on a protocol 75% of the time is better than not at all, but when we are stuck in perfectionism, we can’t think that through

d.  Creates a vicious cycle: tomorrow I will do it perfectly; then we don’t; we beat ourselves up/belittle ourselves; we get relief by planning to d it perfectly the next time; rinse and repeat.

e. Perfectionism will be the biggest roadblock to our using the ABC tool by Fogg/Harris

f.  A change a month yielded 360 changes for us over a 30+ year period of time!!!

 

3. Not breaking goals down/biting off too much 

a. Often related to perfectionism

b. Sometimes we can’t see the little steps it takes to get to a big goal

c. Other times the little steps do not feel like they will get us there

d.  We believe we should “play big or go home”

e. My bladder exercises—break it down because didn’t see how I could add another thing to my day.

4. Relying on willpower

a. When we don’t plan ahead and make decisions ahead of time, we leave the weight of any changes in our lives (or any self integrity issues) on the part of the brain that is ill-equipped to make those decisions and carry out the goals in our life

b.  The amount, type, and intensity of willpower that is needed to do some things for some people are nearly impossible to override/sustain

c.  Research shows we spend four hours per day resisting temptations

d.  We have a willpower gap—the number of instances we need willpower is greater than the amount of willpower we have in any given day

e. See Weight Loss Lifestyles Episodes 60 and 61 for extensive willpower teaching.

5. Not planning/deciding ahead of time

a. Prefrontal cortex vs. toddler brain

b.  Decision making processes are those done ahead, not in the moment

c.  In the moment relies on willpower, which we are often short of

C. Get More Help!

1. The Perfect Storm of Weight Loss teaches the steps to create your own protocol and bring together all aspects of weight loss

2.  Willpower Part I and II 

3. Sign up for a free consult call to see if weight/time management/life coaching with me would help you meet your goals!

 

Think-Feel-Eat Episode #18: Pick-a-Protocol III (of III)

Think-Feel-Eat Episode #18: Pick-a-Protocol III (of III)

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Hi! I’m Donna Reish, IF teacher, weight loss coach, blogger, and half of “The Minus 220 Pound Pair” as my husband and I have lost over 220 pounds together (160 of that in the past couple of years through the Weight Loss Lifestyle habits and strategies I teach!).

In this episode, I guide viewers and listeners in creating an Eating Protocol that works for them—and that fits into The Perfect Storm of Weight Loss for YOU!
In the first few protocol episodes (13, 14, 15), I taught the Foundations of Creating an Eating Protocol.

In this three-part episode, I teach about six different protocols and how they may or may not work for you—based on the three pillars of The Perfect Storm:

1) Eating Protocol (time, type, amount of food)
2) Hormones, brain chemicals, neurotransmitters
3) Thought and emotional management

Yep—it takes all three of these working in concert with each other to create the Perfect Storm!

In Episode #16 (Part I of Pick-a-Protocol), I taught about the first two of six on the Pick-a-Protocol chart: Keto and Calorie Counting With 80/20 (80% real food).

In Episode #17, I taught the next two popular (and effective) protocol options: Macro-Nutrient Counting and No Flour/No Sugar.

In this episode, I pick up on the next two protocols from the chart: Calories With Low Carb (not Keto) and WW Point System.

I explain how these protocols stack up in a number of ways—and how you can know if they would be good choices for you!

Find all of my episodes, outlines, and articles for my two weekly broadcasts:

(1) Weight Loss Lifestyle broadcast (formerly Donna’s Intermittent Fasting Broadcast)

(2) Think-Feel-Eat broadcasts 

Sign up for my free webinar: intermittentfastingwebinar.com

Click on the images below to download the documents from this episode!

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